"Typical Teen Behavior" or Something More?

Joanne M. Friedman, MEd

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fourth Revision (DSM IV), published by the American Psychiatric Association, offers this description:

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior.

When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others. The child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own feelings. A physician will commonly refer the child to a psychiatrist who will determine if the child frequently shows four or more of the following behaviors or signs of the disorder for more than six months:
•    Arguing with adults
•    Losing temper
•    Angry or resentful of others
•    Actively defies adults requests or rules
•    Negative attitude
•    Blames others for their own mistakes or behaviors
•    Seems touchy or easily annoyed by others
•    Deliberately annoys others
•    Acts spiteful or vindictive

If you read the list of behaviors and thought to yourself, "That could be any kid" or "It sounds like a phase" you are correct. The difference between "typical" behavior and "atypical behavior" lies in the degree to which the behavior varies from the average and how seriously it creates conflict. A child who lies occasionally to cover up punishable acts is typical. The child who cannot tell the truth even about small matters like whether or not he brushed his teeth before bed is probably diverging significantly from the norm and should be assessed in a different light.

How is a parent to determine what is "normal"? I suggest the following rules of thumb:
•    Is the child's behavior creating conflict at home?
•    Have you had interactions with local authorities because of the child's behavior?
•    Have you received reports from the child's school that the child is repeatedly being assigned detentions or other punishments due to hostile or defiant behavior?
•    Has a teacher recommended that the child be tested?
•    Are you at your wits' end trying to control your temper?
If the answer to those questions is consistently "no," then you are probably seeing typical personality changes that can cause consternation but aren't grounds for serious concern.

If, however, the answer to all or some of these questions is "yes," there's a good chance that your child is exhibiting an atypical behavior pattern. In school, the oppositional child will refuse to remain on task, lie about completing assignments, avoid following directions, and make up his own rules complete with explanations for why he shouldn't have to adhere to the rules the rest of the group is following. Depending on his level of defiance, he will talk back, yell at authority figures, use inappropriate language in an effort to force a confrontation, and even become physically threatening and violent. He will be an unpleasant child much of the time, withdrawn and sullen part of the time, and occasionally charming.

It is possible to look at this type of behavior through a haze of denial and pronounce the child a born leader. Oppositional Defiant personality types do often wind up with a following among their peers. Other children who are frustrated or finding school socially or academically challenging will sometimes look to the child with ODD as a figurehead in their inner battle against authority. The infatuation may become intense, though it is often short-lived. Even the most easily frustrated and mislead child will eventually recognize that his idol spends more time being punished than enjoying the fruits of his efforts. Careful guidance by parents and school employees can break the spell and help the child move on to higher ground.

As for the child suffering from ODD, it is imperative that the recommendations for testing and assessment by a physician and a psychiatrist be followed. Appropriate treatment will make a huge difference in the child's ability to function in the world and academic success will no longer be compromised.

Any question about your child's behavior should be brought up with your pediatrician or family physician as soon as possible. The earlier problems are detected and treatment begun, the better the chances are that the child will recover and resume his normal, only slightly upsetting pattern of maturing.

Joanne M. Friedman received her undergraduate degree in psychology from Clark University and her MEd in special education from the University of Hartford. A past member of the Council for Exceptional Children, she has spent twenty-five years teaching special education at all levels, elementary through high school to learning disabled, emotionally disturbed, physically handicapped and developmentally disabled children and served on the Learning Disabilities Advisory Board at Sussex County College for six years. Joanne Friedman is a freelance writer living in Sussex County, New Jersey.


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